Lesson #6: God Wants the Whole Pie

What follows is the sixth (and next-to-last) installment in the series “7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned from my Husband.” This concept is key to understanding the Christian walk.

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I grew up believing I should put God first in everything:

• He wants the first part of my week, so I should attend church every Sunday.
• He wants the first part of my day, so I should read my Bible each morning.
• He wants the first part of my produce, so I should tithe on every penny I earn.

As with so many other matters, when I got married, my husband really challenged my thinking in this area.

It’s not that there is anything wrong with attending church or reading the Bible or supporting missions.

Quite the contrary.

But worship services and quiet times and charitable giving cannot be where it ends.

God should be more than the top item on my to-do list.

When we think in terms of putting God first, then by definition, something else comes next. It implies that once God’s been given His fair share, the rest of my resources are mine to do with as I please, to pour into family, job, hobbies, or whatever else might be on my list.

But that’s not entirely accurate. This whole hierarchical way of thinking is fundamentally flawed.

God will never be satisfied with a trifling token of our time and talents. Our service to Him should not be ranked alongside dental appointments and PTA meetings and Little League games — just one more thing packed into an already overcrowded schedule.

God transcends our to-do list, and our devotion to Him must be all-encompassing.

If life is a pie, God doesn’t just want the first piece. He doesn’t even want the biggest piece. He wants the whole thing.

But what does this sold-out sort of living look like? And how do we get from here to there?

We do it by following these five simple principles:

• Love God with all your heart:

  The Bible states our goal plainly: “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and might.” (Deuteronomy 6:5)

  Loving God with our whole heart does not mean we have less love left over for our fellow man, as if our love supply could be diminished or depleted. Rather, the opposite is true. Loving God wholeheartedly compels and enables us to love others as Christ loves them, which is why Jesus follows that first command with a second like unto it: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

  As with the loaves and the fishes, when we give our love wholly to God, He multiplies and increases it many fold, so that there is an abundance of love left over to share with those around us in soul-satisfying ways.

• Serve God with all your strength:

  The Bible commands us to serve the Lord with gladness (Psalm 100:2) and with the strength that He provides.(1 Peter 4:11).

  Unfortunately, Satan has duped us into believing that only certain activities “count” as “service” and that everything else is just stuff we need to rush through so that we can have more time for “real ministry.”

  We live burdened down with guilt over all the things we are NOT doing, instead of viewing all the things we ARE doing as opportunities to joyfully serve, knowing that even washing dishes and folding laundry and changing diapers and chauffeuring children can be a spiritual service of worship and a sacrifice of praise when done “as unto the LORD” with a renewed heart and mind. (Romans 12:1)

• Honor God in all you do:

  As Christians, we have taken the name of Christ; let’s make certain we don’t do so in vain. We must live lives of integrity and sincerity, praying that the words of our mouths and the the meditations of our hearts would be acceptable to God. (Psalm 19:14) Our faith should not be superficial, but should sink deep into our beings, transforming and molding us into the image of Christ. If we belong to God, then everything we do should be done for His glory. (Romans 14:8, 1 Corinthians 10:31)

• Acknowledge God in all your ways:

  Our lives should point others to Jesus. In all our ways, we should make Christ known, and He will direct our paths. (Proverbs 3:6)

  I do not know who wrote this little rhyme that I memorized in my youth, but it is just as convicting today as it was the first day I heard it:

  You are writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
  By the things that you do and the words that you say,
  Men read what you write, distorted or true,
  What is the Gospel according to you?

• Trust God with all the details:

  God has promised to “work all things together for the good of those who love Him,” (Romans 8:28) and He can be trusted to keep that promise. Time and again throughout scripture, we are urged to put our full trust in God, to depend fully on Him instead of leaning on our own limited understanding or putting our faith in human reasoning:

  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

  “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8)

So, there it is. These are the areas that come to my mind when I think of handing all of my life over to God. What does sold-out living look like to you? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Lesson #1: Keep Your Eyes on the Ball

When I first got married, I possessed an utter lack of coordination in the area of gross motor skills. I couldn’t catch (or hit) anything to save my life. No matter what was tossed to me — baseballs, car keys, ballpoint pens — I’d fumble and let it fall to the floor.

My father had given up years earlier trying to instill in me any sense of athleticism, but my new husband was not so easily deterred. “Just keep your eyes on the ball, Jennifer. Glue your eyes to the ball!”

It’s a simple concept, I know, but one I’d always managed to struggle with it. Even when I started out with my full attention on the object hurtling toward me, at some crucial point, I’d shift my focus from the thing I was supposed to catch to the hand doing the catching. (Is that a broken nail?) Or to my general appearance. (My shirt’s untucked. Better fix it.) Or to the ground beneath me. (What did I just trip over?) Or to my personal safety. (That thing could hit me in the head!)

Still, my husband was certain that I could master this task in time, provided I received plenty of practice and positive encouragement along the way, which he most willingly and happily gave.

His confidence was not ill-founded. These days, unless the pitch is too fast for my eyes to follow, I can catch almost anything that is thrown to me — even those bits of shrimp the hibachi chef flicks at us whenever we eat Japanese.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

The secret is staying focused. This is true in sports, but even truer in life — as my husband has been so faithful to remind me.

A Christian’s primary goal should be to serve God and share His love with others, but how that purpose gets translated into day-to-day living will look different from one person to the next and from one season to the next, depending on individual giftings, circumstances, and responsibilities.

For me, a devoted wife and homeschooling mama with lots of little ones still in the nest, that day-to-day focus must of necessity be fixed on nurturing my marriage and educating my children. These are tasks that deserve my best effort and demand my full attention.

I cannot afford to fumble things here, when so many futures lay on the line. Giving way to distraction can have devastating consequences. I must sustain my focus. I must take heed. I must prioritize.

But saying that something is a priority and really making it a priority are two vastly different things. Have you ever noticed that? I can say that I want to lose weight, but if I eat like a pig and refuse to exercise, onlookers may accurately deduce that I’m not really serious about doing so. My actions reveal my true priorities.

Prioritizing time with family must be more than a platitude. It is too easy to become distracted, to shift our focus at what may later prove to have been a critical juncture. What we need is a game plan.

Here’s mine:

• Write down your goals.

  It is impossible to focus on something that is not clearly defined. By taking time to commit your goals, dreams, and aspirations to paper, you can narrow your focus and give attention to the things that are most important to you.

• Review them regularly.

  Such routine reminders will help you stay on target. Try to break your general goals into smaller, stepwise tasks, then put them on daily, weekly, and/or monthly checklists. This practice will keep your goals in the forefront of your mind.

• Examine your routines.

  How do you spend your time? Do these activities help or hinder you from achieving your goals? Every six months or so, reevaluate your current schedule and try to minimize your involvement in anything that is not moving you toward your primary focus.

• Stay fully engaged.

  When you are with your loved ones, be with them. Remain mentally present as well as physically. Power down the laptop, pocket the iPhone and reconnect with real, live people.

• Don’t rush.

  It takes time to build solid relationships. If you are always in a hurry, it’s never going to happen. Slow down and savor each moment. You have a relatively small window of time in which to impact the lives of those around you or impart to them your blessings, love, knowledge, and values. Don’t squander it.

• Do things together.

  Rather than pushing your children aside to pursue personal interests, get them involved, too. Cooking, gardening, scrapbooking, exercising — learn to view everything you do in terms of its potential for fellowship and/or discipleship. Get excited about what excites them, as well. As much as possible, when your kids are awake and around, do things that can be shared, and save the other stuff until after they’ve been tucked in for the night. (For me, “other stuff” would include blogging, which explains why my posts are so sporadic.)

These are the things I have made a conscious commitment to do. Sometimes I fall short, but I’m steadily making progress. Little by little. Day by day. I’m becoming less project-oriented and more people-oriented. I’m trying to ignore the many inconsequential things that vy for my attention in order to fix my thoughts on the vitally important.

Because it isn’t enough to suit up to play. It’s not enough to make it onto the field. If I don’t keep my head in the game, it will all be for naught. If I want to win, I must stay focused. I have to pay attention. I’ve got to glue my eyes to the ball.

Won’t you join me? What are your goals? What steps are you taking to reach them?

Go to LIFE LESSON #2 >>

7 Life Lessons I’ve Learned From My Husband

I’m telling my age to admit it, but my first computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100. Back in the early 80′s, all incoming freshmen at Dallas Baptist University were required to buy one and to take a class that would teach us to use it.

Nevertheless, it was not until I met my future husband (three years and countless computer-printed assignments later) that I learned anything about the machine’s text-wrapping capabilities. For six long semesters, I’d kept a furtive watch on the LCD display and hit “return” every time the curser got close to the right-hand side of the screen, a holdover habit from years spent using a manual typewriter.

Within days of our first meeting, however, Doug observed my unusual approach to word processing and gently informed me that, if I would just keep typing, the text would automatically bump down to the next line without my doing anything to make it happen.

That one little pointer saved me massive amounts of time, completely revolutionized the way I did homework, and contributed even further to my rapidly growing affection for the guy I’d eventually marry.

What’s more, this was but the first of innumerable things he would teach me. Subsequent lessons have ranged from the practical (how to change the oil in my car, how to serve a volleyball, how to fend off an armed attacker) to the profound (how should our faith influence our actions? what does it mean to serve God with our whole heart? how can we most effectively communicate His love to others?).

Some of these concepts are just too good to keep to myself, so I’ve decided to publish seven of my favorites in a series of posts devoted to the “Life Lessons I’ve Learned from My Husband.” You’ll find a brief synopsis of each listed below:

1. Keep Your Eyes on the Ball -
   You must stay focused on your goals if you ever hope to reach them.
2. Laughter is Good Medicine -
   A sense of humor makes good times more pleasant and bad times more bearable.
3. You Can Learn a Lot by Reading Fiction -
   I used to think that reading fiction was a waste of time; now I know otherwise.
4. Perfectionism Is a Trap -
   There are lots of areas in life where “good enough” should be good enough.
5. Always Tip Your Waiter Well -
   Good service deserves it; poor service will be improved by it.
6. God Wants the Whole Pie -
   He’ll never be satisfied with a single piece, no matter how big or promptly offered.
7. It’s Only Money -
   Our security rests in God, not in the numbers on our bank statement.

I hope you’ll come back to read the full post for each point (which I’ll be publishing weekly), and that you will be as richly blessed as I have by these life-changing lessons.

If you’d prefer to have these posts delivered directly to your inbox, you may sign-up for a free email subscription in the the sidebar on the right (scroll up to see it). Please do

Go to LIFE LESSON #1 >>

More than Enough

Our lives are busy. Our time and resources are limited. Our responsibilities pile up to such a degree that we cannot possibly accomplish them all on our own.

Yet we try.

Too often, we live crisis to crisis, with a vague sense of guilt that we can’t stay more on top of all the demands placed upon us. No sooner do we tend to one pressing matter than three others spring up to take its place.

Sometimes when I look at all I have to do, then consider the time in which I have do it, I think I understand how the disciples must have felt surveying that famished multitude with nothing but five loaves and two fish to feed them.

But what if, instead of placing those meager provisions into the hands of the Master, the disciples had scrambled around trying to slap together enough tunafish sandwiches to feed the five thousand themselves? How well would that have worked? Do you think the crowd would have been able to eat their fill? Do you think they would have needed twelve baskets to contain all the leftovers?

Our God is a God of miracles. He is still in the business of multiplying. If we will but place our limited time, talents, strength, and energy into His capable hands, He will stretch it in such a way that it is not only sufficient for the needs of the hour, but more than enough.

God can do amazing things when we give ourselves wholly to Him.

Our Starting Point

“Prayer works. Prayer is work. Prayer leads to work.” This is a quote I copied, without attribution, into the back of my Bible some thirty-plus years ago.

I know that the operative word here is prayer, but I sometimes act as if the most important word were work.

Have you ever been guilty of that?

When your list of pressing chores is especially long, are you inclined to spend more time on your knees — or less? Do you view prayer as leisurely pastime or a life-preserving necessity?

James 5:16 tells us, “The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

Prayer should be so much more than a brief benediction we utter before setting our shoulder to the wheel.

Prayer works. Prayer itself is work. And prayer has the power to make all the work that follows more focused and productive.

Martin Luther understood this fact, which is why he once wrote, “I have so much to do today, I must spend the first three hours in prayer.”

Whether intuitively or experientially, Luther knew that the longer his “to do” list, the more desperately he needed the wisdom, blessing, and empowering of God.

Shouldn’t prayer be our starting point, as well?

Our Daily Lifeline

As fitting and appropriate as it is to call upon God from the foxhole, prayer should really be our first and natural response in all of life’s circumstances.

• When awed by His works, we should praise Him.
• When struck by His greatness, we should worship Him.
• When encumbered by doubts, we should trust in Him.
• When ensnared by sin, we should confess to Him.
• When weary and careworn, we should lean on Him.
• When wisdom is needed, we should ask of Him.
• When brimming with joy, we should sing to Him.
• When weighed down with grief, we should cling to Him.
• When honored, we should magnify Him.
• When humbled, we should hide in Him.
• When burdened for the lost — as we all need to be — we should plead for His unfailing mercy.
• When blessed beyond measure — as each of us are — we should thank Him for His unmerited grace.

An attitude of constant prayer is a distinguishing mark of the mature Christian, which is why we are commanded to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). I don’t know who said it, but it is definitely true: “If you only pray when you’re in trouble, you’re in trouble.”

Frustration is Your Friend

Frustration is something we all face from time to time. The question is, how do we respond? Do life’s trials make us bitter or better? Do they cause us to sink or soar?

It takes wisdom and maturity to swallow disappointment without complaint. Any two-year-old can throw a tantrum, but if we hope to do more than survive setbacks — if we want to actually grow through them and profit from them — then we must learn healthier ways of handling hardships.

So next time you’re feeling frustrated, view it as an exercise in character-building. Practice the following responses, and they will soon become second-nature:

F – Faith – Trust that God has a purpose and a plan. Look to Him for guidance.

R – Respect – Treat others well. Don’t use frustration as an excuse to be rude or impatient.

U – Understanding – Why did this happen? Have my actions caused or contributed to the problem?

S – Sympathy – Demonstrate compassion for others who’ve been through similar trials.

T – Teachability – What lessons can I learn from this? How do I avoid similar situations in the future?

R – Resourcefulness – Think outside the box. Be flexible. Is there a different approach I might try?

A - Acceptance – Frustrations are just a fact of life. Anticipate and make allowances for them.

T – Tenacity – Hold fast to your convictions. Remain resolved. Don’t give up in the face of frustration.

I – Integrity – Guard your good name. Live above reproach. Never return evil for evil.

O – Opportunity – Where God closes a door, He opens a window. Look for it.

N – Need – We need God’s grace, strength, wisdom, and mercy, and should pray for such continually.

Misguided parents will sometimes cater to a child’s every whim (thereby doing him a great disservice). There’s a name for kids who must always have their way: spoiled brats.

God loves us too much to make the same mistake. Scripture goes so far as to say that we should rejoice when we encounter hardships, big or small, for God uses such trials to mold in us the character of Christ (James 1:2-3).

Someday, when we stand before Him, complete, we may finally recognize frustration for what it truly is: a friend without whom we’d never be the same.

Have you developed a strategy for dealing with frustration? Please share by leaving a comment below, or join me on Facebook and we can discuss it there.

A Good Reminder

Pray hardest when it’s hardest to pray? I don’t think this means we should pray hardest when we’re in the most trouble. Most of us find it pretty easy to pray when we need God to get us out of a tight spot. For me, this quote means that I need to pray hardest when I’m . . .

. . . exhausted
. . . excited
. . . angry
. . . anxious
. . . annoyed
. . . busy
. . . behind
. . . distracted.

When is it hardest for you to pray? Let’s work harder at remembering at that moment to pray for God’s strength, comfort, wisdom, and grace.

Pray without Ceasing

I’ve been meditating on 1 Thess. 5:17 lately: “Pray without ceasing.” Try as I might to maintain a continual attitude of prayer, I get distracted by the million other things that vie for my attention. Consequently, I often lose sight of that goal.

Yet my days are sprinkled with enough mindless tasks that it’s easy to pick up the conversation with God wherever I left off, provided I make a point to do so. Some of my favorite multi-tasking opportunities include praying while:

• folding laundry
• climbing stairs
• washing dishes
• nursing babies
• riding bikes
• taking showers
• falling asleep

When and where do you squeeze in extra prayer time? Please share. I’m eager to add to my list!

Mixed Blessings

…. Life took yet another unexpected turn the day before Thanksgiving when our excessively thirsty Daniel tested positive for diabetes. That brings the tally to three children with Type 1, all diagnosed during major holidays. What are the odds? Daniel took the news like a real trooper, although he has since asked, “Mommy? When do I get to stop having diabetes?” The answer is that, unless a cure is found, he will have it for the rest of his life.

I think it is significant that Daniel’s diagnosis came at a time traditionally set aside for counting blessings and giving thanks. It’s easy to express gratitude for obvious graces like warm homes, good jobs, sound minds, and full bellies, but Scripture bids us count it all joy when we encounter hardships, as well (James 1:2-3), knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us and can be trusted, even amid tragedy, to work all things together for good (Romans 8:28).

So this year, we are also thanking God for His purpose and plan in allowing into our lives some things we would not have willingly chosen for ourselves—things like diabetes and miscarriage and broken bones (five of them in five different kids!). But God is good all the time, and we can see His hand of mercy at work even now. Won’t you join us in offering up a sacrifice of praise this season?